What Is Love Addiction?

Love addiction is a psychological addiction, thought to be the result of "less than nurturing" childhood experiences. The love addict shares some of the distortions of other addicts, namely the sex addict:

• If anyone really new me they wouldn't love me or they would leave me.
• I am unloveable and or unworthy.
• Sex is the greatest sign of love.

As a result, the love addict focuses an inordinate amount of energy on the other person, so much that their identity, or sense of self, is lost. Often, love addicts will be attracted to sex addicts and other love avoidant types.

Love addiction is a brain disease, and is subject to the same "brain hijacking" as other addictive illnesses. It is an unhealthy relationship with relationships. when sex becomes a major part of the acting out, sex and love addiction may be present.

Love addicts can be very manipulative, and tend to overwhelm thier partners with their needs. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) can be a very helpful tool, along with individual and group therapy.

Children whose needs remain unrecognized may adjust by learning to limit their expectations. This limitation process may take the form of harmful ideas such as, "My needs don't count," "Getting close will hurt" and "I'm not worth loving." Such ideas do not satisfy childhood needs, leaving them still to be met later in life. As adults, addictive lovers remain dependent upon others to care for them, protect them and solve their problems.

Love addicts are characteristically familiar with desperate hopes and seemingly unending fears. Fearing rejection, fearing pain, fearing unfamiliar experiences, and having no faith in their ability--or even their right--to inspire love, they wait, wish, and hope for love, perhaps their least familiar experience.

Characteristics of Addictive Love:

• Is all consuming and obsessive.
• Is inhibited.
• Avoids risk or change.
• Lacks true intimacy.
• Is manipulative, strikes deals.
• Is dependent.
• Demands the loved one's devotion.

Give Life Works a call for a free phone consultation.

Chris Lorenc MS, LPC, NCC, CSAT Candidate
Board Certified Professional Counselor